Hello, welcome to my world :)

Apr 16

Cake Boss in a nutshell…

barebackbearyak:

Customer: I want a nice chocolate cake for my young son, and he likes trucks, so could you maybe do a little frosting picture of a truck on the top?

Cake Boss: SOS WHAT WES GUNNA DO IS MAKE A GIANT TRUCK ENTIRELY OUTTA RICE CRISPIES AND COVA DAT IN FONDANT AND IZ GUNNA SHOOT SPARKS AND CATCH FIYAH, POSSIBLY KILLIN YOUR SON IN DA PROCESS.

Mar 09
  • Leonardo DiCaprio: *names his child Oscar*
  • Doctor: "Would you like to hold h-"
  • Leonardo DiCaprio: "Say it like we rehearsed it."
  • Doctor: *sighs* "And the Oscar goes to..."
Mar 06
sckrpnch:

She’s beauty and she’s grace, she’s Miss United States

sckrpnch:

She’s beauty and she’s grace, she’s Miss United States

Mar 02

blackbanshee:

Seven week old puppies playing with mommy.

mom! mom! mom! mom! mom! mom! mom! mom! mom! mom! mom! mom! mom! mom! mom! mom! mom! mom! mom! mom! mom! mom! mom! mom! mom! mom! mom! mom! mom! mom! mom! mom! mom! mom! mom! 

Feb 20
shitshilarious:

DAMMNIT SUSAN I SAID GET ME THE EXPENSE REPORTS NOT SIT AROUND WITH YOUR THUMB UP YOUR ASS

shitshilarious:

DAMMNIT SUSAN I SAID GET ME THE EXPENSE REPORTS NOT SIT AROUND WITH YOUR THUMB UP YOUR ASS

Feb 16

momazhari:

im-mr-brightside:

burn-down-the-world:

This was the single funniest thing I have ever seen a president do.

I’M STILL LAUGHING.

I will never not reblog this.

image

Let’s all take a moment to remember that Obama actually fucking did this omg 

Feb 14
zubat:

[dog voice] oof

zubat:

[dog voice] oof

Jan 27

batreaux:

you walk over to the chamber of secrets and whisper “i have a crush on my cousin”. the basilisk comes over to you and says “you totally misinterpreted the use of this chamber and also you’re pretty fuckin gross”

Jan 23
unclefather:

nah that cheetahs like “U gotta adjust the lens my dude ah shit point the camera over there look nala and simba havn sex again” 

unclefather:

nah that cheetahs like “U gotta adjust the lens my dude ah shit point the camera over there look nala and simba havn sex again” 

Jan 18
fannibleh:

uobyugit:

not my family bitch

why am i crying

fannibleh:

uobyugit:

not my family bitch

why am i crying